What Is a Marriage?

God instituted marriage and Scripture shows us the heart of God that’s behind marriage. In Genesis 2:18, it says,

“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”

Eve is not yet created and when God looked at Adam, he said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. God had created animals, but it wasn’t enough. Adam didn’t find a suitable companion. In verses 19 and 20, it says,

“Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.”

God created the animal kingdom out of the dust of the earth and presented them to Adam. All of these were made from the dust of the earth and none of them were made in the image of God, only Adam. Here’s what God does to remedy that in verses 21 and 22:

“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.”

Why didn’t he make the woman out of the dust of the earth? Because men and women together are the full image of God. He took out of that man a portion of his very body, and he formed a woman. In the Hebrew, when God made man, the meaning of the word “made” would be likened to someone forging steel. But when he says how he made women, the meaning of the word is more delicate and refined like someone making a piece of fine China.

They were the completion of the image of God and the earth. It was this uniqueness, this oneness, that God created when he brought them together.

What did Jesus Say About Marriage?

In Matthew 19:3, some of the Pharisees came to Jesus:

“Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?’”

Jesus’ answer in verses 4-6 was

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

In verse 7, the Pharisees ask: “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

Jesus replied, in verse 8: “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.”

First, when speaking to the Pharisees, Jesus referred to the book of Genesis as the word of God. Secondly, from Jesus’ perspective, the family consists of a mother and a father. Thirdly, God created male and female to reflect his reunited image in the home.

How Does God Reveal His Image Through Marriage?

There are four primary ways that God reveals his image. The first one is simply by gender: male and female. Together they reflect the full image of God. The second is marriage between a man and a woman. The third is procreation: The ability to have a child which requires a man and a woman. The fourth reflection of the image of God is the fact that God has given people free will.

Nothing in the animal or plant kingdom has free will; they live by instinct. God made man in his image with the ability to choose or to reject his image in their life, to choose to accept or reject a savior, and to choose to reject or accept his image in the home and in marriage.

God will not stop people from having different opinions. He gave free will because he didn’t want robots. He wanted relationships.

God’s Original Intent for Marriage

When the Pharisees questioned Jesus, men were having their wives killed because they weren’t permitted to divorce them. Moses permitted them to divorce, so they wouldn’t kill their wives. But when Jesus answered the question of marriage, he addressed God’s original intent: Marriage is to be between a man and a woman.

The image of God needs to be in a home because children need to be raised in an environment where there’s the uniqueness of the male and the female. Both are the image of God, and ideally, children need both.

The absence of fathers and mothers in society shows what happens when the image of God is absent in the home, so God categorically rejects gay marriage. He doesn’t reject the person, but he does reject that definition of marriage. He rejects his image being distorted.

People get to choose whether they will let God’s image be seen in them whether they are homosexual or heterosexual. There are a lot of distortions that happen in heterosexual relationships, too.

Sadly, it’s common that a woman will be dating or living with some guy who treats her like dirt. Her life is being destroyed because she doesn’t know her value, and she doesn’t see the image of God in her. She should pray for his future and get him out of her life, but she’s powerless to do it.

Whether homosexual or heterosexual, people are powerless to overcome their struggles.

The Image of God and the Power of Relationship with Christ

In II Corinthians 3:18, it says,

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”

Christians have direct access to God and don’t have to hide shame and sin. Believers are transformed into his very own image in an ever-increasing splendor. It’s progressive from one degree of his glory to another. This comes by his Holy Spirit, not by prayers or efforts or promises to God.

The transformation occurs by the power of his spirit conforming the believer to the image in which he made them. It will affect their sexuality, relationships, and marriages. In Romans 12:2, it says,

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

The Miracle of Marriage in Mutual Submission

In Ephesians 5:21, it says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

That’s mutual submission out of respect for each other. Not out of respect for the other person because they’ve deserved it and earned it. This submission is out of respect for Christ. He empowers believers to live this way.

Wives should submit themselves under their husband’s authority just as they have placed and submitted themselves under the Lord’s authority. Ephesians 5:22 and 23 says:

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.”

The passage continues:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

The first thing here is the miracle of mutual submission. It’s giving what can never be earned or demanded. It’s not done because it’s deserved. It’s done because both people love each other. Love does what is in the best interest of the other.

Headship is responsibility, not privilege. Being the head of something is not a place of privilege. It is a place of responsibility. When God says the husband is the head of the wife, it has nothing to do with him ruling over her or being smarter than her or having to assert his dominance over her. He said that husbands should literally be willing to die for their wives like Christ died for the Church. This means the husband dying to their own will. She comes first. Jesus said when husbands do that they empower their wives to honor, respect, and love them in return.

God’s miraculous plan for marriage was created for our good. His intent for men and women was to bring their best and unique qualities into a holy partnership to display his image in the world. When husbands and wives understand how to support each other and honor the beautiful design God created for their relationship, their marriages will be a slice of heaven on earth.

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